From Never to Motherhood

Welcome! I’m Momma Mac; a first-time mom at the ripe age of 38, a wife to an amazing blue collar man, and still a working momma. I’m new to the world of blogging and honestly I thought it would be a fun way to write it all down. Everything. The good. The bad. The ugly. 

This blog is where I'll tell the whole story—the infertility, the surprise pregnancy, becoming a first-time mom at 38, marriage, work, and everything in between. Some days will make you laugh. Some might make you cry. Mostly, I hope you'll leave feeling like you aren't doing this alone.

In my 20s I had some medical things happen and was told I would never have kids naturally. Then I was told I would. Then told again I wouldn’t. Honestly I had just accepted I would never carry or birth my own child. Doesn’t mean I liked it, but accepted it. I also hadn’t found that special person that really made me look deeper into it. 

I spent my 20s focused on my career, traveling whenever I could, and collecting stories instead of baby names. It was great. 10/10 wouldn't change anything about it...except maybe some of the people. I found myself in a small community surrounded by people that I called family. Life was great. 

By mid-30s I not only accepted that I wasn’t going to be a mom but also that I wasn’t going to find my forever person. Although I had long-term relationships none of them were forever. This is honestly a good thing. Then I met him. My forever person. 

Never in my life would I imagine my forever person was younger than me. I mean NEVER! But here we are with a decade between us. From day one, he knew that the chances of me getting pregnant and having a baby were slim at best. So, if he wanted children I didn’t want his time or mine to be wasted. 

A year in, we had a miscarriage. We honestly didn't even know we were pregnant until it was over. Things changed that day. Suddenly the impossible didn't feel absolute anymore, and neither of us could pretend we didn't want to hope. Another year goes by and nothing. Not even a hint of a pregnancy scare. I was devastated, and so was he. 

At this point we had to have a long conversation. He realized he really did want more kids; he has one from a previous relationship. Honestly I cried so much and prayed even more. I had all of those “pity me,” “why me,” thoughts and feelings. While I loved our life, I couldn’t blame him for wanting more. I did too. So we put the wedding planning on hold, decided to make an appointment with a specialist, and have one last great summer before finding out if a family was even going to be an option. If nothing else, we would have one last great summer together. 

Little did I know, while we were having that conversation, I was already pregnant. This is just the beginning of our story.